I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize