nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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