I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
