Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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