2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
