I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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