I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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