it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
