If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
