I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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