She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
