Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
