I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
