Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
