Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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