I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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