He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
NoShamevember. You game?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
