Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
