Your tits are I can't wait for
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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