You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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