And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
