my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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