The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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