at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
