There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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