I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
