he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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