they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
