so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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