I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
