I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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