I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
