how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
