4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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