Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
