guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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