I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
