i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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