I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
