GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize