a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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