And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
