In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
