Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
