): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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