would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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