Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She announced her abortion via fbk
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
