I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
