the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
