TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So much Jack, so little girl.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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