i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
that is very illegal...i love you.
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