i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
