Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
