had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Sober January is a disaster.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize