Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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