i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize